image courtesy of Johnny Boy’s ghetto photoshop skills

  1. Don't be that douchebag that name drops at every party / dinner around town to get in.  RSVP like everyone else, and wait if there's a line.  If you didn't get invited, it's simple, DO NOT GO.  If you have to tell them who you are, then you shouldn't be there.
  2. If you borrow someone's VIP card, make damn sure you return it after you leave the fair
  3. If you borrow someone's Collector's card, well, shi*t, they're just fuc*ing stupid to give you that one...keep that sh*t, they can get in regardless
  4. Because you attended the {Insert Bank Name Here} dinner, then went to Gold Rush or Swinging Richards (closed 2013) to "make it rain" hundreds, does not make you an art collector, it just probably means you own a Britto. Don't pretend you know anything about art.
  5. Remember it's called Art Basel because people come to buy ART, I mean they're not selling dildos right? so be part of the community and support the arts
  6. Do not continually email / call / text your friend that is working during ABMB, their first priority is the client, not you, regardless of how important it is for you to get into the party
  7. Respect the laws while driving...allow pedestrians to cross, do not drive in the bicycle lanes, don't honk incessantly, and DO NOT drive drunk!!!
  8. Favors are reserved for those people that actually do them for you, so ask yourself before you ask for a favor, what have i done for them? nothing in life is free, that's the honest truth
  9. Contribute year round to your local art / design community, money does not buy access (not saying it can't), but a genuine interest and dedication to a gallery or museum will get you access to alot of those parties / dinners your dying to go to
  10. If you wake up in a stranger's bed after a long night of partying and singing at Chez Andre, have the courtesy to ask them their's always more awkward if you sit next to them at a dinner and not know it :-)