Johnny Boy still has not learned how to use photoshop, fu*k it

  1. Don't be that douchebag that name drops at every party/dinner around town to get in.  RSVP like everyone else, and wait if there's a line.  If you didn't get invited, it's simple, DO NOT GO.  If you have to tell them who you are, then you shouldn't be there.
  2. If you borrow someone's VIP card, make damn sure you return it after you leave the fair
  3. If you borrow someone's Collector's card, well, shi*t, they're just fuc*ing stupid to give you that one...keep that sh*t, with all the traffic and the construction, you'll be lucky to just get to the fair
  4. Because you try to crash every dinner/party around town, then take "selfie's" with any artist around and post on instagram, does not make you an art collector, it just probably means you love yourself a wee bit too much. Don't pretend you know anything about art.
  5. Since we're on that instagram tip, don't fake post and tag the VIP party you're at if you're in line, we all can spot that miles away.  Don't be desperate, it's not cute.
  6. Remember it's called Art Basel because people come to buy ART, I mean they're not selling dildos right? so be part of the community and support the arts
  7. Do not continually email/call/text your friend that is working during ABMB, their first priority is the client, not you, regardless of how important it is for you to get into the party
  8. Respect the laws while driving, especially with all the construction in Miami Beach/Miami now. Allow pedestrians to cross, do not drive in the bicycle lanes, don't honk incessantly, and DO NOT drive drunk!  The city is experiencing an unprecedented growth and building the infrastructure will help the Future Miami to better serve you during Art Basel
  9. Favors are reserved for those people that actually do them for you, so ask yourself before you ask for a favor, what have i done for them? nothing in life is free, that's the honest truth
  10. Contribute year round to your local art/design community, money does not buy access (not saying it can't), but a genuine interest and dedication to a gallery or museum will allow you access to the parties & dinners you're dying to attend
  11. If you wake up in a stranger's bed after a long night of partying at Prada's Double Club, have the decency to ask them their's always more awkward if you sit next to them at a dinner or run into them at a dance party and not know it :-)